How to Handle Offenses It is not a secret that everyday people face certain challenges that lead to offenses. Sometimes people say things that are very offensive and have a negative impact on other people. In some situations, the behavior and actions of people are very rude. People may be rude at the grocery store, at school, at home, everywhere! Offenses are going to come. According to Adrian Burnham, “some people seem more sensitive to offense than others”(183). In fact, offenses can be viewed as a part of human life.
Many people have no opportunity to control their feelings and emotions, as they are easily offended. In other words, they let the smallest things upset them. Somebody cuts them off in traffic; they don’t even know the person, but their blood pressure shoot sky high. The next two-three hours they are all uptight and on edge. However, if people are going to live free from negative offenses, they have to do everything possible to learn how not to take these offenses. If the offense comes, it does not mean that it has to affect people.
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Actually, it all depends on how people handle the situation. Offenses are unavoidable in human life, but any person can learn to handle offenses through the following techniques: learning to forgive people quickly, remaining calm in any situation and being ready to start communication with those people who are rude, ignorant or aggressive. The word offense comes from a Greek word scandalous, which meaner, “to bait” (Clifford 380). It is used in reference on how they would catch animal. It is actually the bait that lures the animal into the trap.
Many offenses occur due to “choice of words, stereotyping, body language, gestures, facial expressions, style and intensity of speaking, silence, or people interrupting or correcting others” (Roads 239). When a person is tempted to be offended, somebody is rude, aggressive, inconsiderate or ignorant to him or her. It is necessary to understand that the enemy wants to offer his bait. The person who offends somebody wants his victim to get upset, get angry, argue, and let it sour the whole day. Many people do not know how to handle offenses and they simply swallow that bait.
They go around day after day upset, bitter and offended. However, people should be aware of what is happening and how to behave in this or that situation. When the next time a person has an opportunity to be offended, instead of falling into the same trap, he or she should say “No thanks, I’m not going to take the bait, I’m smarter than that! I’m going to live my life free and I’m going to enjoy this day! ” One of the best things people can learn to handle offenses is to forgive quickly. If somebody does a person wrong, it is recommended to learn to immediately let it go.
People should not play that offense over and over in their minds, dissecting it and try to figure out what they really meant. Actually, offended people should not call their friends and get their take on it. They should say to themselves: “Can you believe how offended person let it go, the easier it will be for him or her (Roads 239). This strategy will help an offended person to see his or her life in a whole new level. That is why it is very important to start practicing a simple principle “forgive quickly, don’t allow the offense to take roots.
People cannot take offenses from coming but they can keep them from dragging them down. The longer they dwell on it, the more it poisons them, and the harder it is to get free. Here is a situation, which describes offensive behavior and its impact. I once was with a young classmate of mine who had some incident the other day in the school parking lot, a petty car accident, and I noticed that the situation was escalating. The longer I stayed in the situation the more it was difficult for me to be in peace.
It is the same way when an offense comes, f a person allows that offense to stay in mind hour after hour, day after day, then it gets harder and harder to get rid of. It is so much easier to forgive right when it happens. Besides, one of the importance things is to remain calm. There are many people around who are always upset, bent out shape about something. In fact, a lot of people are offended by their neighbors because they were not invited in a house party or upset at the department store because they were not allowed to take purchased things back.
The major problem in these situations is that people cannot main calm. In general, people have to make a decision first thing in the morning that no matter what happens, it is necessary to remain calm and “never get upset or offended” (Burnham 67) It is very important to stay in peace. For example, if somebody ignores a person or he is rude, it meaner that this person is probably Just having a bad day. It is recommended to imagine that this person is an eagle and can rise above any offense.
Today many people are constantly taking on the bait Just like it was “a candy they are always being offended” (Dawdle 45). They do not realize that hey allow the enemy to control them, Just like a puppet. As a rule, a person who wants to offend somebody says behind the scene that he wants to cut his victim off in traffic. This person should ignore him because it is of great importance to remain calm in any situation. In other words, if the enemy cannot upset his victim, he cannot control his victim. When an offended person remains calm, he or she is in the position of power.
Many psychologists recommend never get revenge and never try to pay people back, because any revenge can make matters worse. Another way to avoid offenses and their consequences is to improve communication. Actually, everyone has the right to have a bad day every once in a while. Being in a relationship with people day in day out, “some things can be misunderstood”(Roads 239). Comments can be taken wrong or maybe there Just having a bad day. As a matter of fact, there are no perfect people, and it is necessary to learn to avoid strained relationships.
Those people who are easily offended should be ready to change their character and become stronger and more self-confident. In addition, they should not be afraid of offenses and they should not demonstrate their sensitiveness. It is necessary to remember that many people do not realize they are rude to others (Burnham 29). People should learn to communicate. For example, an offended person may say: “Hey that is hurting my feeling. I wish you wouldn’t do that. ” This strategy can be very useful as it helps to explain other people the negative sides of their behaviors.
Thus, it is necessary to conclude that it is possible to avoid the feelings of others. It is recommended to learn to forgive people quickly, to remain calm in any situation and to be ready to start communication with those people who are rude to others. Moreover, it would be better to change some traits of character, such as sensitivity. The above-mentioned recommendations mean that if a person is upset, it is his fault. Any person is responsible for his or her own happiness. Any person in this world can be offended, but love can always take the high road.
People should be ready to communicate with one another in order to avoid any countersigning, which can lead to offenses. It is necessary to put up with the fact that many people are rude to others. Works Cited Dawdle, H. H. Friendship: How to Make and Keep Friends. Greta: Wellness Institute, Inc. 2000. Print. Clifford, S. M. Gatekeeper. New York: Colon Press, 2011. Print. Burnham, A. People Management in Turbulent Times. London: Palaver Macmillan, 2009. Print. Roads, D. M. From Every People And Nation: The Book Of Revelation In Intercultural Perspective. Minneapolis: Fortress Press, 2005. Print.